March 10th, 2011

So today is thursday and it was raining... I didnt go to track practice because i had to go to eye doctor and order new contacts... but yeah, life is really stressful at the moment. I finally realizing its just getting harder everyday. I have to balance school, SAT practice, track, volunteering opportunities, job hunting, boyfriend, college, family and my future...I'm stressing out about my life so much and i just need a time to myself. Some days i just feel like breaking down...but i know ...i guess i just have to fight through and work my hardest ... these 8 years will determine everything for me. i have to be motivated. life will be easier.

Tomorrow, Hubbi will be going to this party that his friend is throwing. And that isnt making me feel any better...From what i heard, his friend is inviting a lot of people, and theres going to be a lot of beer, drugs, and girls.

Its not that i dont trust him to go, but i just dont want him getting high and drunk as fuck then doing something he's going to regret.

Last time he went clubbing he already grind with 3 girls and i never got pissed at him and called him out.. like, who the fuck does that when you have a girlfriend already..? Im not the jealous type.. but the stuff he does sometimes is just stupid and if he was with any other girl, i guarantee she would flip out.... YES i was upset.. but thats it...i didnt yell at him. i didnt do anything....

Now he's going to this party where cops would be involved...

Im just fking pissed, but its not like i can control him. i dont want to be that girlfriend. but seriously what kind of girlfriend does not get mad at their boyfriend for grinding with 3 girls...

but its w/e im over it.

I know he is going to get drunk and high as hell but i hope he doesnt do anything behind my back....

Honestly i could have broken up with him ...

But anyways... enough it it.. i dont want to get re-pissed again

You know what the problem with me is? I worry too much. I worry, and jump into conclusions. I bring stress upon myself most of the time, and I even start up fights because I just always think of the worst case scenario. I also always use the terms “always” which irritates people. I hide my deepest feelings but its for the best.

So in track practice, i became closer with tommy and we're really good friends now. He's the only cool asian who actually speaks good english. he also has really nice korean hair rofl.

but yea, he and 2 other people are my only friends in track because there is no one else that i know..